SAN DIEGO (KGTV) — San Diego-area families are working to help their children process the tragedy that unfolded at the Islamic Center in Clairemont, and mental health experts say the conversations parents have with their kids in the aftermath are critical.
Dr. Justin LaPilusa, a psychologist with Auxilium Mental Health, says parents should allow children to express their feelings and tailor conversations to their age — without overwhelming them with details.
"Children don't need the graphic details," LaPilusa said.
He says keeping a calm environment is key, because children take emotional cues from the adults around them.
"You want to keep things very calm. Children borrow strength and safety from the adults around them. So keeping a secure and calm environment where you're able to have discussions and talk about things," LaPilusa said.
LaPilusa also encourages parents to watch for changes in their children's behavior following a traumatic event.
"See if they're more irritable, watch their sleep, noticing if they're more clingy if they're more hypervigilant," LaPilusa said.
If those signs appear, he suggests finding ways to help children express their thoughts — through drawing or journaling — and reaching out to mental health professionals if needed.
He also recommends limiting children's exposure to coverage of the shooting on social media and in conversations with others, warning that too much information can become emotionally overwhelming.
"There's a possibility that when something like this happens, we can get flooded, and we only have so much emotional bandwidth for stuff, so at some point you start to say my cup is full and I don't have any more room," LaPilusa said.
Finally, LaPilusa says maintaining a daily routine can help regulate children's emotions and reinforce a sense of safety.
"One way that we signal to children that things are OK and that they're safe is by maintaining structure and stability," LaPilusa said.
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