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Chula Vista daughter documents mother's dementia experience, turns blog into book

From daughter to caretaker, one woman's journey with her late mother's dementia experience
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Posted at 8:50 AM, Dec 27, 2022
and last updated 2022-12-27 12:32:31-05

CHULA VISTA (KGTV) — For Chula Vista resident Brigette Simms, the bond between her and her mother was immeasurable. Simms and her mom lived under the same roof for the past 28 years, and she described the two as inseparable.

"We were like besties, traveling all through Europe. We just loved life together," Simms said. "Every day we would say to each other I love from here to heaven."

But one day, Brigette's biggest fear happened when she suspected her mother was having a stroke.

"One side of her shoulder was leaning, I took her to the hospital, and they said she had a couple of mini-strokes, and all of a sudden, the dementia just kicked in," Simms remembered.

Their lives, as Brigette once knew, would never be the same. Overnight, she went from daughter to caregiver.

"We didn't know who she was. She was a totally different person. She wouldn't take a shower; she was screaming for me to put her in the shower. She wouldn't remember anything. It was from day to night. I couldn't believe it," Simms said.

Each passing day brought a new challenge and Simms documented it in an online blog. "It was really sad, very scary because I didn't know anything about dementia. When they told me about dementia, I said, 'what are you talking about?' The memory loss was the main thing, but it changed her whole personality also."

She wanted readers of her blog to know that dementia wasn't so bad and how you reacted to the abrupt change could make a world of a difference.

"You have to find humor in it. That's what I did. I said, 'mom, you're going to ask me that again?' I told myself I'm going to enjoy every moment with her. I'm going to find happiness; I'm going to find love with her while I can," Brigette added.

Earlier this year, Brigette's mother passed away, but her legacy lives on through the pages of Laughing, Learning and Loving with Dementia.

Simms turned her blog into a book after readers expressed how much the forum helped them. She credits her mother, who always lent a hand to those in need.

"She'd do anything to help someone, and I felt like she was still helping even though she was struggling," Brigette said.

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