SAN DIEGO -- A former Children's Hospital nurse admitted twice touching a comatose 4-year-girl under his care to see if he was "interested" in children, according to a search warrant affidavit made public Tuesday.

Christopher Alan Irvin, 32, spoke to Special Agent Aaron Meeks of the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement and San Diego police Detective Susan Righthouse when the first of two search warrants was served at his home April 12.

After initially denying that he ever touched children, Irvin confessed that he touched one of his patients on two different occasions, according to the affidavit signed by San Diego police Detective Christopher Armstrong.

On the first occasion, Irvin told the officers that he rubbed the girl for several seconds to see what would happen. He said he was a little curious and a little excited at the same time, according to the affidavit.

Irvin admitted touching the girl's private areas, but said there was no penetration. He told the officers he wasn't sure what he was feeling, so he decided to touch the girl a second time to see if he liked it, the affidavit states.

Irvin said he didn't get sexually aroused, so he decided he wasn't interested in children, according to the affidavit.

The officers asked Irvin if he continued to look at pornography and videos of children, and the defendant said he did, according to the affidavit.

When a second search warrant was served, Irvin's computer was found running, and officers found both video and image files depicting child pornography in a "shared" Peer to Peer file sharing folder, according to the affidavit.

During the service of the second warrant, several notebook journals were also found, according to the officers.

In one journal entry dated Dec. 4, the writer states "Oh God, I've strayed." The writer goes on to talk about the difficult time he/she is having at work, adjusting to the job and people, according to the affidavit.

A portion of another journal entry states "I want to lay down at night & feel love & the presence of a (loved, comforted) little girl ..."

Clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Mantell reviewed the journal entries and told 10News, "I think anyone would look at that and feel shock."

Another journal entry states: "Next year I've got to see (name redacted). I want to be with her when she is 4,5,6,7,8,9." And yet another says, "This is killing me. The little girl downstairs is playing and I want to go play with her, ahhhh!!!"

"I would be terribly worried if I saw those journal entries and knew nothing else. I would say this is a man that is going to act out," added Mantell.

Mantell added that the journal shows not only how obsessed Irvin was, but also that he agonized over his obsession.

According to the affidavit from the other search warrant released Monday, a computer site offering images of child porn was traced to Irvin's home computer.

That affidavit revealed that police seized a letter a 13-year-old girl had written to Irvin, children's drawings and a suitcase containing books and pornographic videos.

Irvin is charged with two counts of committing a lewd act on child and 20 counts of distributing child pornography.

The alleged victim has a rare disease and remains hospitalized in grave condition.

Deputy District Attorney Laura Gunn said Irvin volunteered at Girl Scouts events and volunteered at the Polinsky Children's Center.

Righthouse testified Monday that police want to interview six children in Florida to find out if Irvin had anything to do with them.

Another Children's Hospital employee, Wayne Bleyle, was arrested a month before Irvin and is charged with molesting five disabled children and distributing child pornography.