BUENA PARK, Calif. -- A reality show contestant charged in the gruesome slaying of his ex-model wife left a suicide note on his laptop that says he considered her the love of his life but thought she was cheating on him, a police spokesman said Monday.

The 1 1/2-page typed note, titled "Will and Testament," was found on the hard drive of Ryan Jenkins' laptop after the former VH1 contestant hung himself in a Canadian motel room, said Sgt. Bill Kohanek.

Jenkins, 32, also apologized to his family for causing trouble but made no mention of Jasmine Fiore's slaying, Kohanek said.

"About half of the letter described how much he loved her, and in the same breath, he would talk about how frustrated she made him and that he felt very jealous about some of her relationships and that frustrated him immensely," Kohanek said.

Fiore, 28, was found in a suitcase in a Buena Park trash bin early on Aug. 15. Her nose was broken, she was badly beaten and she was missing the last digit of all her fingers and her teeth -- presumably to hamper efforts to identify her.

Police ultimately learned her name by tracking the serial number on her breast implants, but not until Jenkins had a three-day head start on his escape.

Jenkins, who appeared on "Megan Wants a Millionaire," fled for his native Canada 24 hours after Fiore's body was found. The son of a prominent Calgary architect was found days later in an isolated motel in Hope, British Columbia, where he had committed suicide.

Kohanek said detectives believe the note was written Aug. 20, the day he checked into the motel and three days before his body was found.