Have you ever wondered what would happen to our economy if parents didn’t feel pressured to make every experience for their child better than the last?

Whether it’s joining a sports team or celebrating a birthday, the pressure to upgrade to better equipment or more extravagant parties is wearing thin for many families.

Last week I was talking with a mother who shared with me how challenging it has become to say no to the perpetual upgrade mentality that has swept across the country.

"It’s absurd the pressure a child is under to 'fit in' today," said Jennifer. In this case it was the local baseball team. “You can’t just show up with last year’s bat. It’s got to be the latest model utilizing the best technology. And these things aren’t cheap, we’re talking baseball bats that cost over $100,” she exclaimed. Heaven help the family who opts out and says ‘no thank you’.

And what about birthday parties, or as some parents refer to them -- birthday extravaganzas.

Recently I was in Chicago, where I met Tom, who described a birthday party his 10-year-old son attended for another boy in his class. “When I went to pick up Jason at the end of the party I was a bit confused when I saw him riding a bicycle toward the car,” said Tom. Turns out each child was given a bicycle as a thank you gift. Yes, a bicycle. Suffice it to say Tom was not happy.

What feeds this beast of bigger, better, more?

Many families have admitted to me that they are caught in a time-guilt-stuff cycle with their children. Time and guilt are inversely related. The less you have of one (time) the more you have of the other (guilt). And in America the great substitute for time is stuff -- lots and lots of stuff.

Perhaps it is one reason why the average household is drowning under nearly $10,000 of high-interest credit card debt.

This cycle cannot be sustained. The question is will it end because people voluntarily change their financial habits and values or because the economy will no longer support it?

The next time you feel you are being sucked into a bigger, better, more experience, step back, assess the situation and decide on a different course of action.

That’s what Tom did after his son received the bicycle as a parting gift. After some quick deliberation, he decided it wasn’t appropriate for Jason to keep the bike, so they agreed to donate it to a youth organization. Tom also shared his disappointment with the parents of the boy who hosted the party.

What would you do if your child received an extravagant parting gift at a birthday party?

Speaking out about excess isn’t always the easy thing to do, but it can make a difference -- especially in the life of your child.

In a survey done by a popular home-improvement chain, 65 percent of teenagers said they had watched home makeover television shows like "Trading Spaces," "This Old House" and "Cribs." Source: New York Times

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