Ask Carley: Should black-sheep sister be invited to the wedding?

By CARLEY RONEY

Q: Without getting into extreme detail: My sister is 13 years older than I am, and we are not close. She is, let's just say, the black sheep of the family. Should I feel obligated to invite her to my wedding just because she is my sister?

A: Family matters are the toughest ones. But the bottom line is this: If inviting her is going to cause you a lot of grief on your wedding day, then don't. On the other hand, if her presence isn't going to adversely affect you, and her not getting invited might create even more of a problem, then extend an invitation.

Remember: Just because you invite her doesn't mean she'll come.

Though you shouldn't feel obligated, you should definitely give it some serious thought. Talk to your parents and other siblings (if any) about it and see what they think. Chances are, if you're wondering whether to invite her, you probably should. But only you can really answer that question!

(Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at www.theknot.com. Got more questions? Visit www.theknot.com/askcarley for 800-plus answers on all things wedding.)

        

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