Ask Carley: Is dancing required at a wedding?

Q: My fiancé and I don't dance -- a sad case of four left feet! Is dancing required at a wedding? Isn't great food and good conversation enough?

A: Dancing is absolutely not required at a wedding. Background music is perfectly appropriate, even if it's just for dinner. But bear in mind that many guests will be expecting to dance and, more importantly, they'll be expecting to ooh and ahh while you take a spin for your first dance together as newlyweds.

How you deal with it is entirely up to you, but if you decide to avoid questions, remember that you don't have to know how to dance to enjoy a "first dance" -- you can simply sway in each other's arms.

Here's another idea: Take dance lessons and surprise everyone who thinks you've got no rhythm! It'll be a memorable wedding moment, and dance lessons are a fun way to de-stress and bond during your engagement.

No matter what you decide, you should be able to make it work -- left feet and all.

(Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at Got more questions? Visit for 800-plus answers on all things wedding.)

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