Ask Carley: Consider having a coed Jack and Jill shower


Q: Neither my fiancé nor I am interested in having a bachelor or bachelorette party. Still, our friends want to do something for us. Would it be strange to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party?

A: Lots of couples have Jack and Jill showers, so why not a coed bash with your best buddies? Both bachelor and bachelorette parties have gotten much tamer over the years (strippers no longer required), but if neither of you is interested in having that so-called "last night of freedom," simply having a fun party together is a great idea.

If you don't intend to get your groups together for a wild night of drinking and debauchery, you could instead opt for a dinner party, an afternoon picnic (perhaps with a game of softball), brunch -- whatever strikes your fancy and seems like something the whole group would enjoy doing together.

Just make sure that everyone is clear on the plan and leaves the naughty-shaped shot glasses at home.

(Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of brides on modern wedding etiquette at Got more questions? Visit for 800-plus answers on all things wedding.)

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