August 13, 2004

Today I am physically spent, but spiritually and emotionally exhilarated by the events of this week.

The healing continues at a snail's pace, but it's nice to see some signs of returning to normal. My hair's growing in - red, thank goodness! Even my beard is making an effort. Ladies, here's a secret male cancer survivors won't tell you. It's not the loss of hair on our heads that bothers us - it's the lack of hair on our faces! One razor blade has lasted me all summer, because what little "peach fuzz" I've had has only needed shaving about twice a week. It used to be twice a day! It feels so good to see stubble again!

But one thing I can't shake is the fatigue that sets in after just a few hours of any kind of physical effort at all. That's why this week has been so important to my recovery - the fatigue has come from some very worthwhile things, some of which I'll write about now, and others I'll write about later.

I mentioned in an earlier entry that when I'm fully recovered I want to use what I've just been through to help others who are going through similar challenges. A fella named Rick Warren has written a terrific book called "The Purpose Driven Life - What on Earth Am I Here For?" I highly recommend it for anyone who's ever asked "Why?" In the book Rick explains how God uses the experiences of our lives to shape us and give us purpose. He says "God uses painful experiences the most. He never wastes a hurt." Glad to hear it! But HOW should I use what I've learned through this summer's ordeal!

I'm trying to answer that question by first listening to that "inner voice," then also by listening to you. Many of you -- some who are involved in health care and volunteer organizations -- have written with suggestions and invitations. I am considering every one. And looking for more.

Monday the week began with a lunch meeting with members of the local Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation board. It was incredibly productive (And most enjoyable, too, because we ate at Bandar, and the owner Shokooh Farahani made her "donation" to the foundation by paying for lunch! Very nice.)

One of the things we talked about was a pamphlet, or series of web postings, or tv news stories, or something similar, which would be aimed at men -- not just about dealing with their own cancer, but how men who are co-survivors can best help their wives, sisters, mothers, daughters and girlfriends who have breast cancer. We came up with other ideas, too, including something for the final day of the 3-Day Walk in October -- but we're saving that for a surprise.

Now those of you keeping score at home may be wondering, "How would having a nice Persian lunch and a stimulating chat with new friends cause this bozo to become fatigued?" Glad you asked. It was in the Gaslamp. I had to park four blocks away. And I'm woefully out of shape. Okay? Satisfied? I had to go home and nap the rest of the afternoon.

I admit that was weenie, but yesterday's trek was more understandably tiring -- and rewarding. Jenny and I drove up to Camp Reach for the Sky, the week-long campout at Camp Marston for children aged 8-18 who are cancer patients and survivors. We observed, toured the campgrounds and cabins, and spoke briefly with some of the younger campers. But what we saw in the short time we were there was both touching and inspiring.

The main thing we saw was children being children -- not "victims." They played soccer, scaled a cool climbing wall, swam in the pool, had a water fight with buckets, balloons and hoses (which made me wish I were 10 again). There was friendly competition, but mostly there was incredible support, from the campers and the staff. Many of the adult counselors are former campers -- cancer survivors themselves. As one American Cancer Society official told us, "Everybody here 'gets it.' They understand when someone runs out of gas and has to sit down for a few minutes. They don't see surgical scars, or catheters, or prosthetics. They know what it takes to fight this disease, but they really applaud loudest when a boy who lost a leg to cancer scales the 40-foot climbing wall and overcomes not only his disease, but his fear of heights."

Did I learn some valuable things from those children? Oh yeah. I learned that St. Paul was right when he wrote "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." (Romans 12:12,13) It's impossible to feel "down" when you do that.

But I also learned that I'm not ready for all that walking up and down hills at that altitude. So I'm going to take another nap now.

Next time, the personal events of Tuesday and Wednesday this week, and how they contributed to my recovery, and to my appreciation of the city in which we live.

-Bill