With summer movie season nearly upon us, the staff behind the concession counter at your local theater is shining up the neon, cleaning out the poppers and laying in extra stock of candy in preparation for the onslaught of customers.

Years ago, I was a concessions manager for a movie theater, and I can tell you from that side of the business that this time of year is a cauldron of stress, jubilation and lust for bonus checks. There's not much your local cinema won't do to get you into that concession line, wallet in hand, ready to purchase your fill of treats.

In fact, about the only thing the cinema gods won't do is offer for sale much of anything with any redeeming nutritional value. From popcorn to nachos, from soda to slushies, there's just not much to recommend the tasty treats that so many of us crave. For some of us, that bucket of buttery popcorn is one of the things that makes the trip to the theater special.

Before we get down to the gory nutritional details of movie food, though, a quick note about concession prices.

Almost everyone complains about concession stand prices. Why on Earth should you pay $10 for popcorn and a soda when you could have twice as much at home for half the money? The reason is simple: If you didn't pay that $10, you'd be paying $15 or $20 for your movie ticket.

While the actual cash movie theaters take in at the box office dwarfs the concession receipts, only a small fraction of that dough stays with the theater, especially in the first few weeks of a film's run. Theaters rely on the concession stand for their operating cash. This is true for almost any entertainment venue, from concert halls to ballparks.

And now, to the menu.

Popcorn: Back in the early 1990s, a major movie theater chain decided to offer a healthier alternative to moviegoers: popcorn popped with vegetable oil, rather than the coconut oil that had been the standard for decades. The chain offered both types of popcorn to consumers, and a problem very quickly became apparent: The vegetable oil-popped corn, while far lower in fat, tasted like packing peanuts. If you love the dry, personality-free experience of air-popped popcorn, you'd have loved the stuff. Back the coconut oil came, and in a hurry.

From a dietary standpoint, the news isn't good. A medium popcorn, which averages 12 cups of popcorn, will hit you with between 600 and 700 calories and 40 grams of fat. The most popular butter-flavored topping on the market adds 160 calories and 14 grams of fat per tablespoon, essentially pure fat. While the chain I worked for kept the topping behind the counter, many now have self-serve topping fountains where you can pump to your heart's content. If each press of the topping button yields just one tablespoon, it won't take long for the numbers to climb into the stratosphere.

Nachos: One of my few claims to culinary fame is that I've met Frank Liberto, the man who is commonly credited with inventing the gelatinous yellow gunk we call "nacho cheese." His company, Rico's, is today one of the largest providers of concession supplies in the nation, still shipping thousands of cans of tasty cheese goodness.

Nutritionally, nachos aren't as bad as you might think. A 3-ounce serving of round nacho chips, about 45 chips, packs 450 calories and 21 grams of fat. That cup of Rico's nacho cheese on the side adds just 130 calories and 9 grams of fat. It's not health food, but it's far from the worst thing on the menu.

Hot dogs: I've always thought whoever conceived of hot dogs as a movie theater snack had a cruel streak. Take a flimsy, porous shell, fill it with a piece of damp, greasy meat, top it with some brightly-colored, guaranteed-to-stain condiments and send people off to eat it in the dark. What a great idea!

It doesn't help that your average theater dog is not exactly Nathan's Famous or Hebrew National in quality. While you'll see some isolated theaters offering higher-class dogs, most are still your average tubular meat. You'll net, for a dog with a bun, on average 305 calories and 4.5 grams of fat. Add cheese, chili or other toppings and you can easily double or triple those numbers.

Pretzels: Soft pretzels are one of the oldest movie snacks, but they went out of fashion for a long time and are just now enjoying a resurgence. There is very little that can challenge a fresh, hot pretzel with big salt crystals dotting its surface and topped with yellow mustard.

SuperPretzel, one of the more popular brands, will cost you 178 calories and 10 grams of fat. However, that's for the standard version. If you get into the cinnamon-sugar or some of the other rich options, your tally will be much higher. Pretzels are a good choice for waist-conscious theater patrons because they have enough bulk to make you feel like you've had a decent snack without packing so much fat.

Of course, if you really want to go the healthiest concession-stand route, there's always one of my own personal old favorites ?

Dill Pickles: If you've never tried a cold dill pickle with your popcorn, you simply haven't lived. That crunch, that tang, that mouth-puckering flavor hit ? you can't beat it. And, best of all, you'll only add 16 calories to your total and not a single gram of fat. Of course, there will be more than 1,000 mg of sodium involved, but if you're already having popcorn what's a little more salt?

The list of movie theater munchies could easily be endless, with new treats coming around every season and old ones being retired, but this should give you a good handle on what the basics will cost your diet. Now save me a seat, and don't hog the popcorn!

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