Dear DoubleTake,
About for months ago I met an amazing man online, which I've never done before.
We e-mailed each other every day. Finally, I decided to give him my number. And we talked all the time for hours at a time.
After about a month of that, we went on a date. It was great! We laughed we joked, we enjoyed each other's company. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and I accepted. He would text me little sweet messages, telling me he missed me and couldn't wait to see me.
Unfortunately, he had to have surgery and it drew him into a deep depression. Now he has to move out of the state. So he stopped talking to me cold. I didn't know or understand why. He explained his situation to me.
I understood where he was coming from, but didn't agree with non-communication, so we split for a bit. Now he's back to communicating with me. We had a long discussion about where we should go from here. I told him that I want to be with him and maybe I could move to the new state with him.
He said he would think about it. What do you think of this situation?

BETTY SAYS:

Surgery, depression, moving away -- this guy's been through a lot lately. That's why he stopped talking to you for a bit.

Choosing to uproot your life and move to a new state for a new boyfriend is a big decision. If he's still weighing his options, that doesn't seem like a solid enough answer to seal the deal. If things don't work out in the new state, it will be hard for you to turn around and go back to the life you left.

If you do decide to move away to be with him, make sure that both of you are on the same page about what the expectations are before you leave. Will you live together? Does he want you to be his caretaker as he recovers from surgery? Do you want to get married soon or have children with him?

Dates and romantic texts only go so far. You want a real relationship. If he waffles on making the tough decisions, perhaps you should keep looking for someone who can truly commit.

EDDIE SAYS:

Did you actually see this guy in a hospital? Has he kept regular appointments with someone qualified to diagnose and treat depression?

While it's reasonable that a major health scare could affect someone's emotional state, somehow this all comes off as pretty odd to me. Odd enough that it makes me wonder how much of what he feeds you is true.

Moving should be a very big decision taken with great care under the best of circumstances. But when you're doing it for a guy who sets off the patented Flake-o-meter, you really need to take your time -- unless you're just hoping for some drama and adventure.

If you love, trust and believe him -- and believe he loves you back -- then maybe you need to move. But try to get some facts before you go.

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Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.

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