By Donna Baker

I had the privilege of caring for my elderly mother during the last four/five years of her life. It was the most difficult, as well as the sweetest, time of my adult life.

Section: Baby Boomers

Yes, our parents get stubborn and return back to their childhood in their later years, and you must step up and be the parent in this situation. As a child who had been taught to love and respect her parents, it was very hard to demand that my mom do something she didn’t want to do.

However, a child care-giver must understand the necessity of continuity and routine in an elder person's life. In my situation, my mom had severe rheumatoid arthritis and, in her later years, became petrified of falling. Therefore, she didn't want to leave her room at all and the only moving around she would do was to step to her bedside potty chair. Feeding, bathing and dressing her had became very tough, not to even mention handling her financial affairs.

Fortunately, I had an adult son (with a teenaged son) living with us, who was of great help. He could lift her when necessary, and the last two years of her life, he took complete care of mom during the day (I work 40+ hours per week). It had to be a team effort. There wasn’t much time or energy left for a social life.

All of this said, taking care of my mom until I was forced to let someone else do it was one of the most valuable experiences ever. We became closer (although I wonder if she knew it). I have absolutely no regret that I chose to keep her at home and love her even more for allowing me the privilege of doing so.

Thank you for allowing me to share some of my thoughts with you.